These Self-Proclaimed “Nice Guys” Are Actually Entitled Manchildren

This is a very important PSA for any gentleman who’s ever found himself in "the friendzone." You should be pleased to learn that the friendzone doesn’t actually exist. Now you can safely pursue friendships with women without fear. Here’s the deal— if a woman doesn’t want to be with you romantically, it’s not because you were nice to her or because you befriended her. It’s because she’s not attracted to you in a romantic way. You didn’t seal your fate by being "nice."

The sooner we can all learn to accept this, the sooner we can move on to forming lasting friendships and relationships. Keep reading to see a whole bunch of men who still don’t get the message.

Donut Even Try

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This post has every hallmark of a classic "nice guy." He uses the word "female," he uses asterisks to denote an action, he refers to his fedora— the succubus line is an interesting twist.

Usually "nice guys" go for something a bit more vulgar, but succubus has a nice ring to it. It’s almost complementary.

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

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Imagine trying to pick up a married woman over the chat feature of a Yahtzee app. Imagine being so insecure that you have to assert your own niceness at every opportunity.

Saying that you’re a nice guy doesn’t really make you a nice guy. You have to actually respect boundaries.

My Little Pikachu

Photo Credit: Blair_Bubbles / Reddit

A woman actually received this letter in her locker at work. Just to give you some context, she got a note before this one that said, "I’m afraid to tell you that I have a crush on you."

The woman went around her office asking everyone if they wrote it. Everyone "except I," of course.

If Only Girls Would Understand

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The problem is, the guy who posts this meme is neither Superman nor Clark Kent. He’s not Henry Cavil either. He’s some sad man who’s upset because he told a girl she was pretty once and that girl didn’t immediately want to sleep with him.

Rejection is his kryptonite.

This Nice Guy Isn’t Very Nice

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I can only hazard a guess as to what’s happening in those 53 comments, but judging by those reactions, it can’t be a good scene. It warms my heart that none of the reactions were "like" or "love."

A real nice guy would know that nobody deserves to be abused.

The New Nice Guy Uniform

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I wonder what he’d do if a super buff guy who goes to the gym a lot just leaned over and rested his head on that shoulder. It’s a shoulder to lean on for viable female romantic partners only.

A nice guy would let anybody use his shoulder as a pillow.

No Facebook Post Left Un-Commented On

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Why is it that "nice guys" are always swooping right into your public Facebook comments? I think "cease" is the best comeback to "begone, thot." Maybe it’s something that "nice guys" will be able to understand.

Raise your hand if your resident Facebook "nice guy" always sends you a private message immediately after you post a picture of yourself.

Real Men

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You know what, I never knew that "Real Men" went around calling people pigs. I must have been choosing romantic partners incorrectly my whole life.

I think I’m going to keep dressing exactly how I want to, thank you very much. Sincerely, a real girl with organs and everything.

The Truth Is Right In Front Of You

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I think that “nice guys” think that the definition of a jerk is just anybody who dates a woman who the “nice guy” wants to sleep with.

The difference between a nice guy and a “nice guy” is that real nice guys accept rejection with grace and don’t go around calling people names on the internet.

A Very Nice Guy

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I mean, that’s his wife. She obviously likes him. I think this post is actually solid proof that women do really like nice guys, just not guys who think being nice means that they’re entitled to an intimate relationship.

Props to the real nice guys who plant thousands of flowers.

Who’s Cutting Onions?

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Even if you aren’t a “nice guy,” this is painfully true. Everybody feels bad when they get rejected. It’s okay to feel sad. It’s not ok to channel that sadness into anger at the person who rejected you.

You aren’t entitled to anybody’s affection. The sooner you accept that, the better off we’re all going to be.

An Actual Text That A Woman Received

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Women get text messages like this literally all the time. When will men learn that this is not the way into a lady’s heart? Since when does lunch mean that you’re in a relationship with somebody?

I thought lunch just meant lunch. I must be mistaken.

“I Wouldn’t Go Out With A *&%$ Like You Anyway”

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If you can’t maintain you niceness throughout a ten second interaction, then you probably aren’t very nice at all. Also, if being nice is all you have going for you, you should probably look into a few new hobbies. Find a passion, become the person you really want to be.

Nobody wants to spend their whole life just being nice.

Asking For A Friend

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Here’s the deal. If you earn enough nice guy points over a specified period of time, you can actually cash them in for things like tiny bouncy balls, glow in the dark vampire fangs, and stale candies.

If you’re being nice just because you want it to “pay off,” you’re not actually being nice.

When Your Self Awareness Tank Is Empty

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How can a person be so blissfully unaware of just how annoying they are? How can “nice guys” have such little self awareness?

It’s almost like it’s not their fault that they’re so horrible. They actually don’t understand how they appear to others. It’s our responsibility to teach them.

Because We Only Wear Makeup For Guys…

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This is not a compliment. We put a lot of time and effort into our makeup. We want it to look good. Sure, I look good without makeup, but I wear makeup because it’s fun to change it up.

Also because I like it. Stop bursting through doors all the time.

That’s What You Get For Not Accepting Food From A Total Stranger

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Do you have any idea how dangerous it is to accept strange drinks from strange people? It’s a nice gesture, but in this day and age it just isn’t going to get you anywhere.

How about just striking up a pleasant conversation? If she isn’t interested, or if she’s giving you short answers and she looks uncomfortable, just walk away.

Before And After

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This is maybe the most frightening thing I’ve ever seen (and ice cream is my favorite food), but I do really appreciate the talent that went into creating this. This is more like an ice guy, am I right? Eh? Ok, that was a bad pun.

I’ll stop making jokes now.

This Was His Second Message

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I have no idea how this guy’s mind works. He got a very nice response from an interested girl. She even included a delightful emoji. Why does he feel the need to destroy his chance at a mutually beneficial and even loving relationship?

Somebody psychoanalyze this man for me.

Nice Guy Tinder Doggo

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Alright, now I’m interested. I’d definitely go out with this nice guy. We could walk along the beach, play catch, even cuddle a bit. He looks so clean and ready to start the day.

I’m into good boys, just not “nice guys.” I will be swiping right, thank you very much.