These People Have 99 Problems But Being In A Stable Relationship Ain’t One

For anyone who’s been in a relationship, you know that it’s not always easy to maintain. Actually, scratch that, it’s NEVER easy. Think about it, being able to keep another person happy for years on end is a lot of work. Kudos to anyone who’s in a stable relationship and has their life together.

Fortunately for everyone reading this, about 1% of couples are stable. The rest of us are barely treading water and can’t stand our partners for more than an hour at a time. If you’re in that boat, you’re going to enjoy this.

She’s Out To Kill You

girlfriend ice cream
Reddit | thethreadkiller

This boyfriend needs to back away from his girlfriend very slowly to the front door. He needs to run away as far as possible. In fact, take the next NASA flight up to the International Space Station because she’s out to kill you.

If someone is willing to ruin your ice cream cone in this malicious fashion, they’re also willing to do a lot more. This is more than breakup material, dude.

The “Whatever” Card

extra empty box
Reddit / RidingKeys

Are you even in a real relationship if your girlfriend doesn’t pretend to “not care” about what food she wants? Are you even in a relationship if your girlfriend said she’ll have “whatever” on her pizza and then proceed to tell you she doesn’t like pepperoni as soon as the pizza arrives?

This is the perfect reaction to have if she decides to play the “whatever” card and be selfish.

The Trust Is Oozing Out Of This Relationship

GPS wife
Reddit | Mymojoisnow

You know how trust is basically the base of every marriage? Well, if you don’t have it, then you’re going to end up like these two. If she has to put a GPS tracking device on you, I think that it’s time to leave her, dude.

There’s nothing about this note that says this relationship or marriage is stable. A good marriage feels like house arrest, but this is actual house arrest.

Two Hateful People

i love that we
Reddit | NuclearThane

If you’re a dark, hateful person, the only way that you’re going to be able to have a longterm relationship is if you find someone who’s just as hateful. You have to be able to relate to each other on some level, so hating people could be that thing.

While most couples connect through hobbies and people that they like, these two are doing the complete opposite. Seems stable to me.

That’s A Tough Look

while cheetos
Reddit | jroehr

Eating Cheetos while breaking up with your girlfriend is the perfect way to tell her that you’ve been cheating. You can just point to the bag, and tell her to put the pieces together.

Clearly, she didn’t take it very well and clearly, he isn’t all that torn up about it. If you’ve ever had to break up with someone, you know that it’s awkward no matter what. The Cheetos would help cut the tension.

Who Runs The World?

grocery store (1)
Reddit | jerrylovesbacon

So there are a few things that are hilarious about this picture. One is that this guy is letting her stand on his back to pick out some sauce, but that’s not even the funniest part.

He could easily reach the sauce and hand it down to her, but she obviously has no faith in him whatsoever. She doesn’t trust him enough to literally hand her a sauce from a shelf she can’t reach. This is so extra and, uh, stable.

Duck And Cover

Lol, JK
Reddit | griffunk

It’s one thing to pull a harmless prank on your girlfriend, it’s another thing to do this. If you just jump out and scare her behind a door and she feels like she’s going to die for a second, whatever, that’s funny.

If she thinks she’s going to be getting engaged and you hit her with a ripped up piece of yellow paper and two internet abbreviations that say you’re just kidding, look out.

Someone Is Sleeping On The Couch Tonight

she's a keeper (1)
Reddit | slizzers

Hey buddy, hopefully, you like the doghouse because that’s where you’re going to be for the rest of the week. Look, it’s a funny gift, I get it. But if there’s a face that tells me she isn’t impressed, it’s the face that she has.

That’s the face of regret that she ever dated this guy. That’s the face that’s going to ask for the receipt back on the video game she just got him for Christmas.

The A/C Is A Relationship Killer

less presents
Reddit | synforge

Random studies that don’t exist show that fighting over the air conditioner is the number one killer of relationships. Everyone has their own temperature that they feel comfortable with and will fight to the death to get in their house.

The problem lies with the fact that air conditioning tends to be super expensive. Many couples have to reconcile with the fact that they will either have to be poor and comfortable or hot and rich.

As Stable As Stable Can Be

inflatable (2)
Reddit | Thesteelman86

This type of relationship is going to be the future. There’s a reason that robots are becoming more popular in the dating realm. Look, people just don’t like people. You’re never going to have an unstable relationship with an inflatable toy.

It’s never going to talk back to you, it’s never going to cheat on you, it’s never going to ask you for money. This is a no-brainer, so maybe it’s time to get on the inanimate objects train.

This Went 0-100

karma (1)
Reddit

You know how Carrie Underwood sang about how she carved her key into the side of her cheating ex’s pretty little souped up four wheel drive? Well, that tactic isn’t just a staple for reckless girlfriends, it’s actually a staple for reckless relationships in general.

This guy not only spray painted her car and broke the window, but he’s posing beside it as if he’s going to karate chop it into the next century.

How Do I Put This Nicely

bubble bath sink
Reddit | nivh_de

When you’re walking on eggshells in the relationship, but you really don’t want to wash the dishes, this is the stuff you have to pull. You need to make everything romantic and exciting.

Turn washing the dishes into a bubble bath — she’ll never be able to say no. Studies show that this works 0.1% of the time if you’re in an unstable relationship, to begin with. Get the divorce papers ready.

Okay, But Still Thank You

y'all argued
Twitter / @WeMadeIt

There’s nothing worse than getting into a big fight and then not knowing where you stand with your girlfriend or wife. Some verbal battles are so aggressive you wonder how your relationship is ever going to survive it.

A lot of fights break up routines (like having your GF make your sandwiches), so this is heartwarming to see. No matter how much she hates his guts, she still made him his sandwich.

Perfect Marketing

bigger house
Reddit / stroger

This is a legitimate option for any unstable relationship. If you love each other sometimes, but can’t stand each other most times — just get a bigger house.

You can split the house in half, you’ll never have to see her again but you don’t have to go through all of the awkward talks about breaking up to your family. If you’re a crazy person, and you’re married to a crazy person, you should think about this.

A Little Too Comfortable

send me photos
Reddit | msmith2210

It’s important to be comfortable in your relationship, but you don’t want to be too comfortable. Yes, it’s completely fine to fart in front of each other every once in a while, but that’s the line.

This is a picture that proves this guy is a little bit too comfortable, if that’s even possible. When his girlfriend breaks up with him, she’s going to specifically look for guys who don’t send her pictures of themselves on the toilet.

From The Top Rope

wrestler
Twitter | @memeprovide

What is going on in the background? Can someone please explain to me why this boyfriend is literally WWE super slamming his girl into the water? Maybe this is a tactic to build both physical and mental strength in their relationship?

Just going off of the optics of the whole thing, I feel like this doesn’t look very good to the average bystander. Maybe that’s just me, though.

The Bath Gods Have Spoken

boyfriend (1)
Reddit | happym0lly

Some relationships just aren’t meant to be romantic. If you’re in a relationship and nothing seems to be working, don’t try to overdo anything. Like, if you can’t go in for a kiss without headbutting each other, or trying to hold hands without breaking each other’s fingers, just stop.

It’s time for you to be “just friends” and give up on a loving relationship for the rest of your life.

Honesty Is The Key To Success

my girlfriend (1)
Reddit | Jiveturkey714

If you’re looking to be in a long relationship, you’re going to need honesty. Sometimes, the truth hurts but it’s necessary to hear. Look, if you’re in a 25-year relationship, you only got there because you were honest with each other.

What makes you think that you should stop now? She’s not wrong by telling you that you’ve aged, because you have. You’re wrinkly now and you have back problems now, sorry man.

When You’re At The Last Straw

bunny bunny
Reddit | chewbacacca

If you’ve ever been in an unhealthy relationship, you might understand this fighting tactic. If you’re fighting over the same stuff every week, like keeping the bathroom clean, and you feel like there’s no progress, you have to take drastic action.

Sometimes that means taking her bunny and sending her this picture telling her that the next time the bathroom is full of makeup stains everywhere, her bunny is going to pay the price.

Be In A Relationship With Yourself

my bf keeps
Reddit | McTizm

You know what the remedy to being in an unstable relationship is? Just be in a relationship with yourself. No one knows you better than you. No one is going to be able to make you happier than you.

No one is going to be able to fake taking pictures with your boyfriend and getting exposed by the mirror better than you. At the end of the day, just do you.