Being neighbors is an odd relationship. On one hand you’re complete strangers, but on the other you’re basically living together. At first the relationship could be sweet and rosy. A few dog poops in the yard never hurt anybody.
But, like many relationships, time takes its toll and the gloves come off. We’ve all had to deal with neighbors in one way or another, and you’ll be thanking your lucky stars none of these people lived beside you.
Pettiness That Runs All The Way Up And Down The Stairs
If you live in an area that gets snow, you know how annoying it is. It’s fun for about three minutes after the first snowfall and then it’s just cold and gross.
You also know that shoveling snow is incredibly taxing and daunting. This neighbor was going to do the BARE minimum of what they need to do and I don’t blame them.
Passive-Aggressive Crop Circles
There’s being angry at your neighbor, and then there’s this. If you’re willing to spend your day crafting up a crop circle diss then that person did something VERY wrong.
The best part? The neighbor will have NO idea, but every passenger of an airplane is going to get quite the show.
This Went 0-100 VERY Quickly
Like I said earlier, if you forget once or twice to pick up your dog’s poop, it’s not a big deal. But if it becomes a habit, you should expect to suffer the consequences.
This person isn’t going to back stab you, they’re going to back-poo you. I’m not even sure what’s more emotionally traumatizing at this point.
How Obvious Do I Have To Make It?
It’s just common courtesy to pick up your dog’s poop. It’s not anyone else’s job, and it never will be.
So, if your dog decides to go doo-doo on your neighbor’s lawn and you don’t pick it up then you probably deserve to get this treatment. It’s savage but necessary.
We See You Boo-Boo
You’ve done it, admit it. You’ve taken a prolonged look into your neighbor’s window. Sometimes it’s for completely harmless reasons, like trying to figure out the layout of their house.
Other times it’s to creep on the good looking son or daughter (or mom and dad, not being ageist) which warrants a sign like this.
Well, That’s Fair
Of all things that your neighbor could’ve taken, a door knob is probably the most confusing. It’s certainly not the most common item for drunk thieves (I’m looking at you cold pizza), but it’s something.
It would take some wild explanation as to why this person took the doorknob. And boy oh boy did it ever live up to it.
Here’s The Line, Don’t Cross It
It’s not ideal to have to share driveways. First of all, there’s rarely a line that tells you where yours begins and theirs ends.
These two neighbors aren’t going to have that problem anymore after it was sliced down the middle by some fresh asphalt. Hey, paving your driveway is expensive, so it’s hard to blame this person.
The Worst Neighbor
I don’t care how bad your human neighbor is, it won’t be as scary as having a cat living next door.
Cats are quickly taking over the world. By 2033, I predict that they will have taken over as the dominant species. They’re out for blood. This is like living next to a serial killer.
Just Looking Out For Everyone
We need to be thankful for neighbors who are willing to take time out of their day to warn the community about unusual happenings in the area.
I just think that there are bigger fish to fry. Squirrels are unpredictable, but even my little nine year old sister can punt them like a football with ease.
It’s one thing to have someone living beside you who always decorates their house for the holidays. Yes, it makes your place look like crap, but it’s still festive.
Then there’s the neighbor who puts out decorations like this. You basically have to blindfold your young children every time you leave your house.
The Needy Neighbor
When you give, give, give but your neighbor never reciprocates, it’s taxing.
They should be happy that you’re even giving them pasta in the first place, but to be a diva about it afterward is ridiculous. Do you need a fork and a spoon too? How about a bib? Do you want me to feed it to you?
Making Their Presence Known
There’s nothing more annoying then having a neighbor whose stuff is constantly breaching your property.
That includes branches, kid’s balls and toys, and massive cactuses that look like they’re on steroids. It’s never fun having to pick up your neighbor’s stuff, especially if that “stuff” demolishes your cement wall that you put up.
If you have a neighbor that loves to play pranks on you, your head has to always be on a swivel.
You never know when they’re going to strike and you have to expect ANYTHING. Having fake peeping Toms hanging around your windows shouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary.
This guy always wants his spot saved. In some neighborhoods, parking is nearly impossible to find if you don’t have your own driveway.
Sometimes you need to be savage and have a little place holder for your parking spot. I mean, nobody would be willing to run that thing over. No one.
This Is An Important Thing To Know
Sometimes neighbors can help you out with important questions. Everyone farts, even girls. You’ve probably never heard them, but it happens.
It’s important to know what your range of smell is. There’s nothing worse than letting a silent one go and finding out that someone can smell it 100 yards away. It benefits you so much to have a handle on how far you spread.
Always Looking Out For Each Other
If you can have a good working relationship with your neighbor it can be very beneficial to both of you.
You can act as each other’s look out. For example, if a dildo ever randomly lands on your roof, you’d probably like to know about it. But, that’s the job of the person who lives beside you.
You’re Never Alone
In case you didn’t want to sleep tonight, here’s a creepy picture of a neighbor creeping in a basement window.
This is what horror movies are made of. Creepy basements and even creepier neighbors who have no sense of the word “boundaries”. This makes me want to live in a remote forest with no humans within 5000 miles.
If The One Before Didn’t Give You Nightmares….
There are a lot of things that you wouldn’t want to wake up to. One of them is your house being on fire. Another is a swarm of killer bees infiltrating your bedroom.
But, probably the worst thing would be your creepy neighbor standing in your doorway like he’s Freddy Krueger in a silhouette.
You Can Fill In The Blanks
Sometimes your neighbor can get a little bit too comfortable with you. If you’ve ever had friends that also live near you, your relationship is taken to another level.
It becomes TOO easy to hangout with each other. On the other hand, if that friendship ever breaks, that close proximity is tough to avoid.
Well, An Apology Is An Apology
Hey, it’s one thing to be a thief, but it’s another thing to be an honest thief. If you just tell the truth then most things in life can be forgiven.
In a way, this is a compliment to your bike buying abilities. I would be more hurt if my bike was only at a 5/10 would steal again.