Tinder, Tinder, Tinder, what would we do without you? It’s the gift that keeps on giving and we really can’t get enough of it. For those old people who say that romance is dead, they clearly haven’t peeped a Tinder conversation between two people looking to get a “quick fix” for their depression thanks to their recent breakup.
Tinder has shifted what “love” truly is. We now live in a hook-up culture that respects the amount of people you’ve been with instead of the amount of years you’ve been with someone. No matter what your opinion on the matter is, you’re going to love these leaked Tinder conversations.
This is incredibly awkward, but a great sense of resource management. If you know you’re not going to get to class on time and you don’t have any classmate’s numbers, it’s important to figure out a way to get signed in.
Getting the participation marks and not even having to attend the class is such a power move. It’s a life hack that many people don’t figure out until their senior year when it’s too late.
Thanks But No Thanks
When you’re on Tinder, you want honesty. If you’re a respectable 5/10, you don’t want some punk lying to you by saying you’re a 7.5. When you know that you’re not naturally pretty and someone says you are, you need to put them in their place.
You didn’t spend $60 on foundation to look like you’re not wearing foundation. It’s insulting to who you are as a person, and to the makeup that you’re wearing.
Hello And Goodbye
If you’re going to attempt to be funny, please be funny. There’s nothing more embarrassing than watching someone crash and burn on Tinder. It’s an app that allows you to cross lines you could never cross in person, so you should shoot for the stars with your jokes.
This person just told the worst knock knock joke in the history of knock knock jokes and it’s extremely hard to look at.
That Took An Interesting Turn
This conversation started like any other boring Tinder interaction and ended in the weirdest way possible. You have to give this guy credit for really putting out there that he’s a meat eater and he doesn’t discriminate.
In regards to her question, if she’s a cat lover, you need to stay away. In fact, if she says she’s into cats it’s completely normal to block her or even report her profile because she’s hiding bodies in her basement.
Well, That’s A Win For The Ugly Community
You don’t see this much, but it’s a refreshing bit of honesty. If you’re a part of the ugly community, you’re really liking what you’re seeing here. It’s generally believed that a pretty girl will like good looking dudes, but this one is a unicorn.
It’s kind of a backhanded compliment if she matches with you because on one hand, she’s calling you ugly, but on the other hand, she’s apparently into it.
Your Move, Bobby Fischer
That’s an interesting first move to make in chess. May I recommend your second move sending your king pawn to e4, which is a great start into the French Defense strategy which is used by the professionals.
If you don’t like that as a second move, you can maybe stop being a nerd and ask the girl out on a date. I mean, it’s hard to argue with a knight to f3 though.
That’s On YOU
Look, when you’re on Tinder and your only pictures are with your hotter friends, you’re looking to catfish. Guys will see one hot friend and swipe right in hopes that you’re the cute one.
If you only post group photos on your profile, it’s on you to awkwardly explain that to your new match who is interested in everyone BUT you. It should be an illegal offense to not have ONE alone picture.
Time Heals ALL Things
Can we just get it out there that we were all a little bit annoying and unbearable in high school? You don’t really notice it until you leave your hometown and reflect on your time in high school and realize how big of a joke you were.
This is a perfect ice breaker when you match with someone from your high school and you want to crush the potential awkwardness from a few years earlier.
Well, That Backfired
Sometimes it’s just better to shoot your shot instead of ask dumb questions to save yourself from rejection. Look, getting rejected is a tough pill to swallow, especially on a dating app that seems to have an abnormally high success rate.
But, that doesn’t mean that you don’t have to be strategic and witty with your opening comments. This guy literally walked into a hole that he’s going to have a very difficult time getting out of.
Straight To The Point
Getting a match means different things to different people. For some, it’s just an introduction to a potential suitor, but to others, it means you’re already a thing. Like, Darcy is telling his parents and grandparents that he has a girlfriend now.
This is official. He’s straight up telling her that they’re dating because that’s a key to a healthy relationship. He’s not even asking, he’s telling. That’s a power move, Darcy.
Starting It Off Fresh
This is an interesting start to a blossoming relationship. Look, girls say that they’re tired of guys being boring and predictable to start conversations. This is certainly neither of those. If anything, this will show exactly the type of person he is.
If he gets away with this and somehow they go on a date, this is a win for the bad guys. It just shows that girls don’t like polite gentlemen. They want some spice.
This Is A Weird Jaws Ending
I think that most of us can read between the lines as to what was actually going on here. But, let’s take the man at his word and pretend that he’s a cannibal. What do you do if you go on a date and find out someone is a cannibal?
If the words “I eat you and you scream” comes out of his mouth, are you stabbing his throat or his eyeball with a butter knife?
You Dug Your Own Grave
It’s girls like Kayla that open the floodgates for all the trashy, rude, and quite frankly, hilarious Tinder conversations. Every guy thinks that he has to knock the socks off of the girl with some crazy one-liner that will make her cringe and laugh at the same time.
Thanks to girls like Kayla, we get be entertained by articles like this one where the conversations take a wicked turn right off the bat.
Working Overtime To Keep This Conversation Alive
It’s one thing to go on a date with someone who barely talks, it’s another thing to try to keep a full conversation going over text with someone who gives you one-word answers. At least if you’re sitting across from them you can read their body language and they usually say more than one word at a time.
Carrying these conversations takes more energy than going to the gym in my humble opinion.
*Clicks The Like Button*
When it comes to hooking up, men can start to act like robots. Once they start interacting with someone they’re interested in, they don’t even speak English or in full sentences anymore.
His response to this message was probably “Like” or “Dislike” depending on how he feels about her comment. His mind has him at an auction, and she’s the end prize. He’ll probably start bidding pretty soon which can only go poorly.
I don’t have the statistics in front of me, but I can assume that the success rate on Tinder falls around 10% or so. Out of every 10 girls that you message, probably only one of them will be interested enough to follow through with plans. This means that you have to bring your “A Game” in terms of pick-up lines.
This guy is sending the same pickup line to every girl he matches with and is getting called out. He’s sticking to his guns though.
Choose Your Fate
This is a great way to allow your match to choose their own fate. This way, they can’t get mad about where the conversation goes because they chose it. In this case, the fact that they didn’t immediately say that they were vegan is astonishing.
Every vegan signs a pact with their vegan Gods that makes it mandatory to mention that you don’t eat anything with eyes within the first three seconds of meeting someone.
Another Choose Your Own Adventure
This is perfect for any control freaks who worry about where a Tinder conversation can go. If you know a lot about dinosaurs but the conversation turns to climate change, you’re screwed. You always want to make yourself look as smart as possible.
Even though it looked like this girl could choose her own adventure, he actually made sure that no matter what she chose, they were going to talk about dinosaurs.
Well That Took A Dark Turn
I’m going to give this guy credit because he incorporated her name seamlessly into a cheesy pickup line. We’ve already learned in this article from people like Kayla a few pages ago that girls don’t want the regular “hey gorgeous” opening.
They demand that guys get creative and comedic. Erin is one of the few that would rather a conventional greeting. It’s safe to say she wasn’t a fan of what was happening here.
Back Away From The Phone Very Slowly
I swear this is the plot of some scary movie. Just because you’re on Tinder doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be aware of potential serial killers. If someone mentions killing girls and wearing their skin, don’t take it as a joke, listen to them the first time.
If anyone from Netflix is reading this, we need to collab and make this movie right away. It’s like a mix of Skins and Suits.