As you know, kids are the most unpredictable tiny, little, drunk adults we’ve ever encountered. While they may seem like they’re pure and innocent, they’re anything but. They know how to manipulate us parents to no end, and it’s exhausting.
They’ll hit you where it hurts and they won’t care about what happens after that. These are the kids that belong on the naughty list.
"Take It Off When You Get To School"
This kid was only allowed to wear this costume to school if he promised to take it off for school pictures. Well, he didn’t and we’re so happy about that.
This kid just played his parents so well. I want the playbook for it. With that being said, he’s for sure going on Santa’s naughty list.
This Is Straightforward
You can’t even tell this kid he’s wrong. I mean, it’s really depressing knowing that this kid has so much sarcastic wisdom pent up in such a tiny body.
To say that I’m jealous would be an understatement. This can be an answer for absolutely every question you’ll ever face in school.
Uh Oh, What’d You Do?
If you come home and find your kid hiding under the pool, you know something went wrong. In fact, you should just be happy that your house isn’t burned down.
If I’m this parent, I’m scared to walk into that house. If the kitchen is still standing, all is good.
The Immaturity Is At Its Finest
Look, we’ve all been there. There’s an age when literally everything turns into a joke and you can’t even grasp the idea of being mature.
I don’t know why we decided to call the planet “Uranus” when we KNOW every little kid is going to laugh the second they hear the name.
They’re Always Trying To Prank You
Kids will do anything to ensure that you get pranked. As a parent, you need to keep your head on a swivel because you never know where the next scare is going to come from.
Don’t even think for a second that they won’t put a terrifying picture under the toilet seat. They will.
Everything Must Be Contractual
While it’s very smart to have everything in writing, it’s not a great deal for the parents. Why? Well, they can’t get mad at you as much.
I only wish I thought of a contract like this that allowed me to say any words that I wanted around my parents. It’s a dream.
Yes, Yes You Are
This kid took the "Believe" sign and turned it into something straight from a horror movie. If your kid has decided to do this, you need to quarantine them because they might be the next coming of Emily Rose.
If you don’t know who that is, just Google it and prepare to scream.
Just Being Realistic
I think it’s important to teach your kids to be realistic. I mean, you don’t have to talk about death, but the whole living till your 200 years old thing probably isn’t going to happen.
This kid has been told about the birds and the bees, and the crushing reality of death. This is just being a realist.
In Case He Dies List
This is a list made by a younger sister in case her brother disappears. She has all of the things she needs to remember WHEN this happens.
It’s going to be a WHEN. This should scare her parents. She’s going to be making some major MONEY if her brother goes “gone”.
Negotiation Is KEY
The key to a successful life is being able to negotiate things. The earlier you learn this, the better. Aima is already on the ball and I love every second of it.
If you’re going to make her do chores, she’s going to be getting something out of it. She’s going to be making some BIG money.
This Is Not A Joke(r)
Okay, I have to admit that this is the cutest little Joker I’ve ever seen. As scary as she looks, there’s nothing intimidating about her whatsoever.
I feel like the Batman movies never would’ve been as exciting if this little girl was the main villain. We could test it out, though.
We All Need A Break
Every kid wants one more week off of school and I think they deserve it. We can rest assured that they’ll be studying up and preparing for school during that time off.
They won’t be hanging out at the park, going to get ice cream, or punching their siblings in the face. Never.
Well, Is He Wrong?
Look, as much as we want to believe that we’re going to be living forever, we’re not. And, it’s not hard to put the pieces together that an old age home is a place with a high frequency of death.
This kid certainly isn’t a rocket scientist, but he figured it out pretty easily.
No Offense Taken, Ethan
Dog’s are a man’s best friend. If you don’t think that your son likes your dog more than he likes you, you’re wrong.
A dog’s butt gets more respect from your kids than you do when they’re around 10 years old. It’s an awful realization to have, but it’s true.
The Most Prosperous Gift
She deserved it. Not too many people should be rewarded with a microwaved hot dog, but this mom absolutely should.
The only other people who have received a hot dog MICROWAVED (so sweet) is Mother Teresa because she’s, well, Mother Teresa. And the other one was Octomom after she gave birth to eight kids.
I’m Sorry You Had To See This
This would give me mixed feelings. On one hand, I’m happy that my kid would’ve made a craft and thought about me in the process.
On the other hand, getting a "I don’t like you" message on the cone of the ice cream wouldn’t be as euphoric as a parent as you may have thought.
Hit Him Where It Hurts
Remember when you were a kid and would dream of being a superhero? Many of us wanted to be Spiderman, while others dreamt of The Hulk.
This Dad found out the hard way that he grew up to be neither of those superheroes. He’s Bald Man which is some crummy rip-off of Batman.
A Child’s Honesty
Sometimes you need a kid’s honesty to bring you back down to reality. I don’t care if you’re Beyoncé at her aesthetic peak, a kid will not hesitate to tell you that you look like trash.
If this mom didn’t fear getting old before, she certainly is going to now.
If I’m a parent and I find this on my soap, I’m running away as soon as possible. I’m just getting up and leaving my old life behind for a different country.
If the kid is willing to engrave this into soap, who knows what they’ll engrave onto your dead body after they, well, I don’t need to get into it.
Say Hi To Uncle Kevin
This little baby is already sick of uncle Kevin and they’ve only known each other for five minutes. Kev didn’t come barring gifts, which is unacceptable.
The obscene gesture is very much called for. You don’t just come around a baby without AT LEAST packing a rattle toy, or even a shoelace for it to play with.