These Are The Kids Who Will Be Getting Away With Murder In The Future, Kidding, Kind Of

Little kids get away with some of the most savage moves of all time. From telling old people that their time is almost up to threatening to break up the family because their video game time was cut short, there are no boundaries.

Let’s be honest, they get away with it because they’re cute and come off as innocent. Well, I’m here to tell you that they’re not. You might disagree with me, in fact, I expect that. So, I’m here to expose these little devils for all the heinous acts they commit and get off with nothing more than a slap on the wrist.

We Have To Respect The Hustle

dress up as mother

This kid is on another level of dedication to getting his phone back. It’s hard to blame him. As a young person who has EVERYTHING in his phone, this guy probably can’t function without his phone and it makes sense.

His plan of attack should be to just scream at the lady behind the desk incoherently. Most people don’t want to deal with confrontation, especially from an angry mother on a little bit of a rampage.

Another Honest Moment

her wig crooked
Twitter / @ChefResha

Can you really blame this woman’s daughter, though? In all seriousness, everyone should be telling this lady that her wig is off-center. The embarrassment that she’s going to feel in that moment when she gets told this news isn’t going to live up to the embarrassment she’ll feel when she gets home and realizes she went the entire day with it all over the place.

It’s like if you see someone walking around with their pants unzipped. You need to tell them, no matter how hard it might seem at the time.

Learning VERY Quickly

single hands
Twitter / @olitvertwist69

This kid is learning how to finesse a relationship WAY too well. This kid’s dad probably didn’t have a side-chick until he was at least married for three years. The little dude in this picture waited all of four years before he cracked the monogamy code.

This little guy is going to be quite the player when he’s older. This girl is going to have one big broken heart when she sees this picture in her yearbook.

He’s Sick And Tired Of This Game

bear claw
Twitter / @WOWT6News

If you’ve ever gone to an arcade and tried to play this game with the claw, you know how frustrating it is. It’s rigged, without a doubt. The claw has the grip strength of a dead raccoon on the side of a highway.

This kid had enough of this bogus game and decided to hack the system. Now he gets to pick whatever toy he wants, which is how it should be.

Well, Is He Wrong?

nursing home
Twitter / @annazpalik14

Being a parent (or a teacher for that matter) is a tough gig. On the one hand, you want to teach the kid to always be respectful. On the other hand, you want to teach them how to be honest.

You’ll come to realize that they can only be one or the other until about 14 years old, so this kid decided to choose ‘honesty’ as his character trait of choice. He’s not wrong.

When You Wanted A Grilled Cheese

chicken strips
Reddit / thegreatbarcia

Look, there’s nothing more exciting as a kid than getting to go out to eat and knowing that you’re going to have a bomb meal. The devastation that you feel when your parents order what they think you want, but get it wrong, is just astonishing.

This little girl has gone vertical in her attempt to protest eating her meal, and we can do nothing but feel for her at this moment.

Personal Space Is Mandatory

why are these legos
Twitter / @Six_Pack_Mom

For some weird reason, adults think that kids don’t want their own personal space. Parents hover over their kids as if their kids aren’t going to get incredibly annoyed by them. This little girl had to take things into her own hands and lay down a minefield so that she could be left alone.

If that isn’t the most relatable thing you’ve seen a kid do, I don’t know what is.

Petty As Petty Can Get

my son got mad
Twitter / @VictorPopeJr

This is everything you can hope for in a petty clap back from your kid. As a parent, you can be angry for a quick moment, but you need to look at the big picture. Having a kid that can do petty well is a positive thing for the future.

One of the keys to success in adulthood is being able to cut someone’s head off without them even knowing (figuratively, not literally). Being petty helps a lot.

Get This Kid To Law School Immediately

system I quit
Twitter / @JNatchus

Let’s hope that this kid comes from wealthy parents because he’s going to be going to law school without a doubt. This kid is smart and knows how to find the loopholes with relative ease.

As a parent, this is the type of problem-solving you want your kid to have, just not when that problem solving affects you negatively. At the end of the day, this dude is a little savage king and there’s nothing we can do about it.

"Don’t Press That But-"

fire hose
Imgur / Greien218

This is why if I was a teacher I would make sure that my field trips are not doing, uh, this. We would be going to the public library (if those even still exist) or going to a petting zoo for goldfish that you can’t touch.

Instead, this teacher got adventurous and brought her kids around powerful fire hoses as if they weren’t going to rejoice in shooting it at an adult’s face.

Shooter’s Shoot

forgot his license
Reddit / GPilla

Can you blame a little kid who is willing to travel long distances to get to his grandparent’s house? It’s not his fault his grandma probably told him that she was making her famous lasagna for dinner tonight and he just couldn’t resist.

For whatever reason, grandparents make THE best food. It’s funny because everyone thinks that their granny is the best-kept secret the cooking world has never seen. This whole dwarf thing probably worked, it’s bulletproof.

Potentially A Danger To Society

eating A1
Instagram / @orpinel_rn

You can tell how well your kid is going to mature by the snacks that he or she eats. If they like cheese and crackers, that’s amazing because they’ll turn out normal. If they eat pickled Mars bars then that’s iffy, but nothing too alarming.

But, if they just sit on the floor and mangle a whole bottle of A1 sauce in one sitting, you might have a serious problem that needs to be investigated by professionals. That’s a fair warning.

This Was The Second Worse Thing That Could’ve Happened

Twitter / @ReasonsMySonCry

This parent needs to be thanking their lucky stars that they even have toilet paper in the first place. This little three-year-old could’ve just thrown out the toilet paper and all hell could’ve broken loose.

If you’ve ever been trapped in a bathroom with no toilet paper, you know that there’s an extreme amount of panic that occurs as you plot how you’re going to get out of this situation. Wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

Yes, Yes You Should

Twitter / @CyclinCoxy

It’s not a shock that some people just can’t dance. The problem usually occurs because of the fact that most people who can’t dance are the ones who end up doing it publically. Not only is there second-hand embarrassment from their peers, but also from their kids, who are so shook that they forget which body part correlates to their senses.

This kid’s mind was so disoriented that he thought covering his ears was going to cover his eyes.

Yeah, That’s A Plus

im glad
Instagram / @thedailydad

It’s definitely a positive thing to know that your grandpa isn’t dead. There’s this taboo that surrounds old people that basically tells you not to talk about death around them. Kids understand that, if anything, the best time to talk about death is when they’re on the verge of it.

You wouldn’t almost be falling off a cliff and tell the people around you to not talk about the fact you’re almost falling off a cliff. Come on now.

Look On The Bright Side

two christmases
Twitter / @JennyPentland

Every kid that’s experienced a divorce knows that there are pros and cons. It’s not all bad when your parents split up. Not only do you get to live in two different houses, but you also get two Christmases and Easters.

Not only that, but there will be some healthy competition between your parents. They’ll want you to like them more, so they’ll probably spoil you much more than if they were together.

These Aren’t Empty Threats

to mum
Instagram / @og_oldenlegend

It’s not unusual to send empty threats your parent’s way. It’s the only productive way to get anything you want. For example, if your mom is watching the news and not listening to your pleas for a cartoon, it’s common to threaten to not eat for a week. Now, that’s an empty threat because you love food too much.

But, any time that a kid puts his threats in writing, you know it’s real. He’ll break that family like a small branch in the hands of a male gorilla.

There’s No Problem Here, Dad

Twitter / @XplodingUnicorn

While you might think that this can’t happen, it absolutely can. Why? Because cats are malicious and are quickly taking over the world. They split up families with ease and by 2033 they will be the dominant species in every household.

This dad needs to be careful because if he gives in on getting a feline, his days on planet earth are going to be very limited. Cats go for dads first. It’s science.

Marcus Needs To Stay Away From Me

on steriods_
Instagram / @daily_gymmemes

Can you imagine being in second grade and being able to lift almost 100 lbs? Who is this kid? My best guess is that The Rock and Ronda Rousey had a kid and he’s set to take over the world.

While most kids can barely lift their favorite crayon over their heads, Marcus is consuming HGH at lunchtime like his classmates drink Capri Sun. Word on the street is that the University of Alabama sends scouts to their PE class.

Save The Polar Bears

what it is
Twitter | @tchrquotes

Honestly, if you haven’t realized it yet, the best part about kids is their honesty. They literally don’t care who you are, or how old you are, they will tell it how it is.

This eight-year-old is going in on this stranger and he isn’t wrong. Look, if you look like you can squish an elephant, you deserve to get called out like this. Hey, polar bears are at least cute.