It’s Official, NASCAR Fans Are Aliens From Planet Alcoholic And They’re Not Fooling Anyone

Where do I even begin with NASCAR fans? They’re a different breed compared to the rest of us conventional sports lovers. There are only a few fanbases who can say they’ve gone to 10 events and remember none of them.

From crushing beers to looking like they haven’t showered in 14 years, these people are straight up aliens from a different planet and people are finally coming to terms with this. Viewer discretion is advised if you’re triggered by extraterrestrials.

Danica The Darling

Danica
Imgur / DjGnarley

Let’s be honest, Danica Patrick is the darling of racing because, well, she’s the only household name that’s a woman. Therefore, she checks off a lot of creepy boxes for NASCAR fans, so it’s not surprising that someone decided to bless their arm with a picture of her.

It’s often overlooked just how passionate these fans truly are. You don’t see Yankees fans with massive tattoos of Derek Jeter, and if you do, you think they’re crazy. In NASCAR, it’s very normal.

Not The Smartest Bunch

so much wrong
Imgur / DJGnarley

It’s no surprise that NASCAR fans like to have fun. But, just because they want to have fun doesn’t mean that they do it in a smart manner. This guy literally sunburns his favorite driver’s name and number onto him EVERY race.

Not only does that look painful, but it’s extremely dangerous too. It honestly looks like his skin would burn a hole through you if you tried to touch it.

Tire Man Stan

tire man
Twitter / @DougDemmon

This guy has become a staple at many of the race events throughout the season. Only at a NASCAR event can you walk around naked with a tire around your waist and be the star of the show.

At this point, he’s a mild celebrity who gets stopped to have pictures taken with all the time. Let’s just hope that he doesn’t get “tire-d” of hauling that thing around everywhere. Okay, I’ll stop.

Okay Chewbacca, We See You

three back
Imgur / DJGnarly

There aren’t many sports that Star Wars characters enjoy, but this is certainly one of them. For Chewbacca here, it’s the only sport that shaving a number on your back isn’t actually weird, it’s encouraged.

It’s also one of the only sporting events that you’re allowed to have your shirt off without getting strange looks or escorted out of the stadium by security. This is a look and I’m all about it.

Lot’s Of Six Packs Walking Around

six pack six pack
Imgur / DJGnarly

This might be a hot take, but I would argue that there are more six packs walking around a NASCAR event then there are walking around a beach. Actually, I’ll probably up that to full kegs. There are a lot of full kegs walking around those events.

If you’re not chugging, or at the very least sipping a beer, you probably don’t belong at a NASCAR race. That’s just a fact.

You Have To Get Creative

budweiser
Pintrest

Unless you’ve spent a day at the racetrack, you don’t understand how incredibly exhausting it is. Not only are you expected to drink all day, but you rarely have any shade AND it’s also hot. Think about the most dehydrated you’ve ever been and double it.

Lifetime NASCAR fans have a creative bone in their bodies that no one else does. They’re willing to get greasy and make full swimming pools out of their coolers.

Last Tattoo, I Swear

dupont
Imgur / DJGnarly

Okay, this is the last tattoo that you’ll see in this article, but I think that it deserves to be here. If you’re willing to ravage your back like this for the rest of your life, you deserve some sort of accolade.

Being in an article that highlights crazy NASCAR fans is probably exactly what the doctor ordered for this girl. This is her Super Bowl, and it might just be the best day of her life.

Born And Bred NASCAR

nascar stroller
Pintrest

NASCAR is a full family event. The loyalty to NASCAR will live on forever because if you grew up in a family that followed racing, you’re going to follow racing. It’s not like baseball or football.

Heck, you see former professional baseball players with kids that haven’t throw a baseball and chose golf as their sport of choice. That doesn’t happen in NASCAR. Think about it, you’ve never heard of a NASCAR driver’s kid pursuing anything other than racing.

They Have Different “Jewelry”

beer can
IMgur / DJgnarly

If you go to a NASCAR race, you’re going to see some wild rings and hoops. Unlike a baseball game or a football game, you’re not going to see the standard earrings and nose rings. You’re going to be graced with much better than that.

It’s only fitting that people use beer cans as their nipple rings because it’s about as white trash as you can get. Looks surprisingly great, though.

The Dedication Is Real

green giant
Imgur / DJGnarly

Sorry soccer and football fans, but there are no fans more dedicated than NASCAR fans. I mean, think about what they are going to watch — cars drive in a circle. If you think that’s interesting to you, okay fine, but to spend hundreds of dollars on tickets and merch takes a clinically insane level of dedication.

This guy turned into the green goblin of racing and it’s kind of impressive.

Only At The Race Track

climbing the fence
Imgur / DJGnarley

To say that the fans of NASCAR are wild would be an understatement. To say that they’re enthusiastic and excited (drunk) would also be an understatement. To say that they’re fast at climbing fences would probably be an overstatement but that doesn’t take away from their optimism.

This fan is going full Spiderman to get a better view of the track and since he’s not the size of an ant, he was ripped down pretty quickly.

Just Wear Something Subtle, Brian

hardcore
Twitter / Nascargumby

NASCAR fans are a lot of things, but “subtle” is not one of them. Not only are they colorful, but they’re willing to put in the work to look like, uh, this. In case anyone was wondering if they’re the biggest fan, can someone inform them that the title is being held by this guy and it’s probably out of reach.

I’m sure he’s a great guy and everything, but man oh man, sitting behind him would be the worst.

Beer And NASCAR

Deer Drinkers
Imgur / DJGnarly

The relationship between beer and NASCAR is probably tighter than peanut butter and jelly. Like I said before, if you’re not mainlining a can of Miller Lite at all times during race day, you’re not a true NASCAR fan.

It’s one of the only events that you can black out at and still not miss anything happening because at the end of the day it’s just cars driving in circles.

Fans Aren’t The Only Crazy Ones

pintrest
Pintrest

The NASCAR culture has to be rooted somewhere, and it’s pretty obvious that it starts with the drivers. Yes, you’re going to see some haymakers thrown in the stands, but you’re almost certainly going to be seeing more haymakers landed on the track.

These drivers are straight from the trailer and have no shame in throwing some fisticuffs at one an another. I guess there’s more in common with racing and hockey than we thought.

It Gets Them Off The Streets

nascar welcomes you
Imgur / DJGnarly

We have to be thankful for the fact that NASCAR is so confusingly popular for a few reasons. First, they make our streets safer because they get people like this guy off of them for the day.

Second, they get people like the guy who is willing to hang beer cans off his nipples off of the streets as well. Say what you want, but these people are dangerous, kind of, not really.

It’s Arrest Central

eighty eighty
Imgur / DJGnarly

I bet you that when a cop gets assigned to a NASCAR event, they’re thankful. They can get their arrest quota in one day and then go eat donuts for the rest of the month instead of actually doing their job.

There have to be studies out there that prove there are more arrests per capita at NASCAR events than anywhere else. This is a fact that I’m going to stand by.

She’s Still In Good Spirits

left behind
Twitter / @Nascargumbo

One thing about racing fans is that they’re almost never in bad spirits. Yes, I know that it’s hard to be in bad spirits when you’re in a full blackout, but nonetheless, we need to give them the credit that they deserve.

This woman was left at the track, probably in one of those portable potties, and woke up like she was in a five-star hotel. She’s just happy to be alive.

Diehard Fans

NASCAR (4)
Imgur / DJGnarly

While this spectacle wasn’t necessarily “crazy,” it does show that NASCAR fans are true diehards. This person was willing to pay $10,000 to get a NASCAR tombstone and we’re not even batting an eye. Like, of course they did this.

Again, if someone had a Major League Baseball logo on their tombstone there would be some serious double looks. But, since it’s NASCAR, you just kind of accept and love it.

Unlike Any Other Sport

beer beer (6)
Twitter / @BradKeslowski

I’ll say it one more time, if you’re a beer drinker and you haven’t been to a NASCAR event, you’re missing out. There’s no other sport that has their athletes chugging dangerous amounts of brewski almost every Sunday.

Like, A-Rod wasn’t crushing beers after a series sweep on the field, but in NASCAR, it’s common practice. Just a quick side note, whoever poured that beer needs to be fired immediately.

That’s A Fair Statement

still drunk from yesterday
Imgur / DJGnarly

I know what you’re going to say, “this is at a Chicago Cubs game and not a NASCAR event” and I hear you out on that. But, I think that this sign represents more racing fans than it does baseball fans.

In fact, I would argue that more than half of the racing fans on a Sunday are riding out their drunk from the night before. You can’t even disagree with me on that.