If you have a girlfriend, had a girlfriend, or are a girlfriend, you’re going to love this article. You know that they’re full of surprises. Some of those surprises are wanted, while others certainly aren’t.
Relationships are roller coasters that neither of the participants really know how to ride. Surprises just throw the rollercoaster off the rails even more, which is why we love them. Enjoy.
The Best Kind Of Talk
Almost nothing ever good comes after a “we need to talk” text. Studies show that 99% of conversations after those four words end in a breakup.
I don’t have a credible study to source that fact, but you’re just going to have to believe me. We Gucci?
That Took A Weird Turn
This looks like it’s straight out of a horror movie. I’m not kidding, this is terrifying. I feel like I’ve seen something exactly like this in The Grudge.
This is almost certainly not the picture that this boyfriend was hoping for, but he’s just going to have to live with it. Somehow.
This guy probably asked for a video game system and she gave him this. I feel like he was held hostage when he wrote this tweet. I cannot confirm nor deny that she held a gun to his head.
If someone gives me a picture of themselves for my birthday, that person is no longer in my life.
Great Minds Think Alike
This is when you need to get down on one knee and propose. There’s no better surprise than food. Flowers? Boo.
Everyone pretends they like flowers, but they don’t. What do you do with them? You throw them away after a week without getting any benefit. At least with food you get a meal.
Girlfriends Will Be Jealous Of Anything
It doesn’t matter how non-threatening something or someone is to your relationship. Girls will be mad at their boyfriend for talking too much to their own mom.
Girls will see a couch and be jealous that it’s getting more attention than her at that moment. Dating is the wild-wild west.
Cakes For EVERYTHING
I want to live in a world where everyone gets a cake for their achievements. Farting in front of your significant other is an achievement no matter what you say.
That’s a milestone that every couple has to get to. I’m also a fan of divorce cakes. They kind of ease the pain a little bit more.
A girl who can appreciate a fat slob like this should get a Nobel Prize. There are like 1000 better looking Star Wars characters, but he chose this one.
I mean, I don’t want to say that she’s taking one for the team here, but she’s taking one for the team.
Back Away Slowly
What would you do if you walked into your room and saw this? It’s an automatic red flag if this doesn’t surprise you.
If you’re surprised, you need to walk away slowly from the door. Turn around and run for the nearest police station. There’s no clean way to get away, but you just have to go for it.
This Is A Power Move
This girlfriend just made the power move of all power moves. She was tired of falling into the toilet because the seat was up in the middle of the night.
Fellas, there’s nothing wrong with sitting down while you go to the bathroom. It’s a lot more relaxing and it’s less of a cleanup.
The Bar Is Low
Honestly, for some guys and girls in relationships, the bar is VERY low. Some people aren’t happy with their spouse getting them a car for their birthday.
Others are ecstatic about their girl making them three pieces of toast for their birthday dinner. It’s all about perspective. The bar is low for this dude.
Not everyone can be Guy Fieri in the kitchen. I mean, it takes a lot of patience, creativity, and skill. Those three qualities disqualify about 99% of the population.
But, this is a great idea for anyone looking to make a macaroni and cheese cake. This looks absolutely delicious. Approved.
“They Fit On The Bed”
Impulse shopping is something that plagues us all, but girlfriends tend to have the more dominant gene. This one probably went to the store to get chapstick and came out with four 1000 pound bears.
Why Does Love Always Feel Like A Battlefield?
In the words of Jordin Sparks, love always feels like a battlefield. The thing is, it really doesn’t have to be that way.
Relationships are all about concessions for one another. She lets you play video games, you watch The Vow and pretend to love every second of it.
Stage Five Clinger
As you can see, this strategy of being a stage five clinger REALLY works. This boyfriend’s face just about says it all and it’s not good.
My guess is that this couple is absolutely not together anymore and I really don’t blame him for cutting it off. I hope he has security though.
This Is Terrifying
I’m not a psychologist and I’ve never been good at spotting potential serial killers, but this is a softball.
This guy needs to RUN as fast as he can. This girlfriend is calculated and will make your death look like an accident. Potential serial killer alert. Potential serial killer alert.
The Hottest Mirror Selfie
Look, the sexiest thing a girl can wear is humor. Right? I think that’s the saying that’s going around nowadays.
In all seriousness, there’s nothing wrong with a selfie like this. People have started taking mirror selfies WAY too seriously. We need to go back to learning to laugh at ourselves.
Man’s Best Friend
There’s a reason that dogs are a man’s best friend. Tell me the last time your girlfriend or friend ate your puke off the ground just to save you the hassle of cleaning it up in the morning?
Yeah, that’s never happened. Maybe dogs should be our new girlfriends? Never mind.
This Is Very True
I can absolutely back a girlfriend who is willing to make her point VERY clear. There is no beating around the bush with this one.
Nothing in this world tastes good without being frosted. Donuts? They NEED to be frosted. Pickles? Yes, even pickles deserve the respect of being frosted.
Carrie Underwood Inspired
If your girlfriend is listening to a lot of Carrie Underwood in a short time, you need to be careful. She’s plotting something and getting Carrie’s approval.
This guy found out the hard way that pickaxes do, in fact, pierce car hoods VERY easily. All boyfriends can thank Underwood for this kind of stuff.
This Is Just Facts
Some girlfriends don’t even like when their man talks to other females. Why? Well, it’s probably deep-rooted insecurities, but it masks itself as jealousy and “loyalty”.
If you’re not even allowed to sneeze in public without worrying your girl is going to pounce on another girl, I think it’s time to leave.