Fellas, If You Need Another Reason To Not Get Married, This Is It

Many of us were raised to find the one person we can connect with and marry them. You envision long walks on the beach and living happily ever after while being madly in love with each other. I guess marriage can be lovely, at some point, for like a second. But, when reality sinks in that you kind of have to spend the rest of your life with this person it isn’t so romantic.

The climax of a marriage is the wedding, no pun intended. But even that has its quirks and pains. If the BEST night of your life (apparently) is still kind of awful, maybe marriage isn’t for everyone. Actually, I know it isn’t for everyone.

The First To Fall Asleep

sleeping
Imgur / Rebecca-Martinson

Anyone who has been to a wedding knows how incredibly long they are. Not only do they take what seems like endless hours, but they also are emotionally draining.

This groom has already had enough of this whole wedding thing. He was excited for the bachelor party that happened months before, and that’s it. The wedding day is mostly just for the bride, let’s be honest. There’s no shame in being the first to fall asleep.

The Cake Has Seen Better Days

cake flying over
Imgur / Rebecca-Martinson

Wedding cakes are a huge part of the event. First of all, they’re so expensive, and you basically need to take another mortgage out on your house just to be able to afford one.

The cake is a massive hit with the guests because, well, it’s cake. If you ever want to know what a face looks like when you know you’ve massively screwed up — look no further than this groom.

Again, The Extraness Is Real

wedding
Imgur / Rebecca-Martinson

This picture just proves my point that weddings are all about the bride. Can you imagine how conceded the groom would look if the cake was a giant version of himself? It wouldn’t go well.

The price of this cake is probably high enough to make you want to vomit in your mouth. To each their own, I guess. I just feel like you could get a sweet flat-screen TV instead, which is much more practical.

The Bridesmaids

bridesmaid
Imgur / Rebecca-Martinson

I think that it’s a fact that the tamer the bride, the less tame the bridesmaids. If you have a bride that seems like she has everything together, her bridesmaids are going to be off the hook.

These girls are probably Hillary Clinton’s bridesmaids or something because they’re wild. If you’re in the wedding party and actually remember the night, did you even have a successful night? The answer is a quick “no.”

Start Classy End Trashy

wedgei wedgie
Imgur / Rebecca-Martinson

As exciting as it sounds, being a bridesmaid isn’t all that fun. First of all, you have to wear a dress that the bride likes, even if you hate it. You have to get shuttled around with the bride and do anything she says. Yes, if she tells you to jump into the lake, you jump into the lake, Karen.

The day is very long and the work you have to put in is very tiresome. There’s no room to be trashy. Well, this picture tells me maybe I’m wrong.

The Floating Head Wedding

howdy
Imgur / Rebecca-Martinson

The South is a different animal altogether. If you can’t see this couple in the picture, it’s because they’re decked out in some of the finest camouflage. Most brides want all eyes on them, but this one is fine with just being a floating head and we have to respect it.

Not sure how safe that limo is being invisible and all, but to each their own I guess. Love it.

Chivalry Is Not Dead

noami
Reddit / suffolked

It’s funny because people say that chivalry is dead. It’s very much alive and well. This person asked their girlfriend to marry them by writing on a graffiti wall. If that’s not romance, I don’t know what is.

This is kind of a safe way to get rejected though. It’s basically a no harm, no foul type deal. It’s a deep cut, obviously, but at least he didn’t choose to do it at an NBA game on the jumbotron as some aliens do.

And.. Grandma Is Out

grandma down
Imgur / Rebecca-Martinson

Wedding days are hard for everyone, including grandma. She’s used to four or five-hour days at the maximum. But, standing around for seven or eight on a wedding day means that she’s probably going to take a tumble at some point.

Thankfully, she fell right as this picture was about to be taken and it resulted in a hilarious picture. Let’s just hope she didn’t ruin the dress that she bought in 1981. That thing is vintage.

Ruining Weddings One Step At A Time

wedding wedding
Imgur / Rebecca-Martinson

Weddings are like no other event. With every single step you take, you could ruin the best day of someone’s life. No one knows this better than this dad that is currently throwing thousands of dollars away with every step that he takes.

Why do wedding dresses feel the need to drag 17 feet behind the bride? It’s not okay for your coat to drag, so why is it okay for your dress?

Risk It For The Biscuit

wedding dress
Imgur / alsestis

If you’re going to have a wedding picture, you might as well go big or go home. This wedding party was playing with fire when they decided to crowd this dock. It’s hard to blame them, and the pictures looked like they could’ve turned out really nice.

But, instead, they got some action shots and they’re gold. No one would’ve remembered the boring dock picture. Everyone will remember when they had a mini heart attack and ruined their dresses and suits.

Welcoming A Food Baby

boy pregnant
Imgur / alsestis

This picture tells you everything you need to know about this couple’s future plans. It’s safe to say that they have a food baby coming in very hot. This looks like a year-long burrito bender baby.

The way that it’s formed like a raindrop gives the perception that not only does he have no problems with eating, but he’s also malnourished. It’s a specific type of stomach and this picture really hits its good angle.

“You Said ONE More Susan”

horsin around
Imgur / alsestis

If you’ve ever had to be apart of a wedding photo shoot, you know that it drags out for an annoying amount of time. This bride wanted a picture with a horse. That’s cute and fairly common, but horses hate it.

If anything, they’re more selfie-type animals and don’t have as much patience as people think. This horse was told “just one more” about seven times and on the eighth picture he had enough.

The Nudist Wedding

wedding wedding (4)
Imgur / alsestis

If you think going to a wedding is interesting, well, you should try going to a nudist wedding. It’s a sight to be (un)seen. Have you ever seen your priest naked? Do you want to? No? That’s fair.

In all seriousness, this is just an angle of the bridesmaids and their strapless dresses. But, the idea of a nudist wedding needs to be followed through with. Perhaps someone who doesn’t have any family?

The Drunk Friend

wedding bells
Imgur / alsestis

When you go to a wedding, you can expect there to be AT LEAST one friend who is going to embarrass themselves by the end of the night. They’re the one at the open bar with two shots of tequila in their hand at all times.

By the end of the night, you have to hold them like they’re the puppet and you’re the ventriloquist or else they’ll take a tumble.

Even The Kids Need A Little Pick-Me-Up

little cups
Imgur / alsestis

If you didn’t crush your first alcoholic beverage at a wedding, did you really even have a childhood? Not only are you looking fly in your best suit or dress, but your parents are off mingling with some distant relative they have no desire to talk to.

This little girl has officially made the decision to open her night up a little bit. She’s not about to hang around the dance floor without a little buzz going.

Being Single At The Wedding

kissing alone
Imgur / alsestis

There’s nothing worse than going to a wedding full of people in relationships while you’re single. Not only do you feel out of place, but you also look out of place. While they’re all dancing with each other on the dance floor, you’re chugging six jager bombs in order to have a little liquid confidence.

You either get fired up and hit the dance floor, or those shots hit you in a VERY different way and you end up crying in the corner.

Not Today Hunny

flowers
Imgur / alsestis

Everyone knows the tradition of the bouquet catch. The bridesmaid who catches the bouquet is supposed to be the next person to get married. This boyfriend wants to ensure that it’s not his girl so he jumped in front of the flowers.

This isn’t the hero we wanted, but he’s the hero that we needed. He took one for the entire male gender and we couldn’t be more appreciative for it.

They’re Carrying Twins

chicken chicken at wedding
Imgur / alsestis

When you first get into a relationship, you’re asked how long until the wedding. When you get to the wedding, you’re asked how long until you have kids. This couple is telling us everything we need to know about their future plans.

They plan on eating alone with no kids. These chickens are much more beneficial than having kids. They go well in a stew or on a sandwich, and they don’t talk back to you.

Little Kids Hate Weddings

giving finger
Imgur / Rebecca-Martinson

This shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise, but men aren’t the only ones who hate weddings. Little kids are also on the anti-marriage train because the wedding is very inconvenient.

The kids could be playing with their toys at home, but instead, they’re forced to dress up in an uncomfortable suit or dress and get paraded around by adults that keep pinching their cheeks. This little guy is the voice of reason.

The Wedding Nip Slip

nip slip
Imgur / Rebecca-Martinson

As we’ve mentioned, the wedding is the bride’s biggest day. There isn’t any room for it to be anything but perfect. She gets to pose the way she wants, with the people she wants, and no one is going to tell her otherwise.

There are some major pros to that power, but also some cons. For example, this bride is having a little nip slip but everyone is too afraid to tell her. The last thing they want her to feel is embarrassed.