No one said that dating is easy, because it’s not. But, like anything else there are some people who can just do it better than others. Sometimes being “better” just means not coming off as a creepy lunatic, but other times it’s about being smooth. Not coming on too strong, but still being able to act interested.
Thankfully, many dudes weren’t born with the skills required to be a good dater. If you don’t believe me, just stay right here and enjoy the many guys who are crashing and burning right in front of our eyes.
Persistance Is Key
This happens all too often. You see a girl who glances in your direction and automatically you feel like she wants to date.
Naturally, you message her on Facebook. She doesn’t reply. So, knowing that she secretly wants to date you, you decided to keep messaging her. She must be, uh, busy.
You May Try To Avoid Foot Fetish People, But They’ll Find You
A very small portion of the population actually like feet. Most of us want nothing to do with our own, never mind someone else’s.
This guy slid into the DMs and went straight to the point. He’s not here for the conversation, he’s here for the toes. This was the perfect reply.
Some people just aren’t casual. This girl is business ALL the time. You have to applaud the fact that he was willing to go out of his way to grab a tux for the occasion.
You also have to give him some credit for just shooting his shot. I mean, it’s the worst attempt of all time. But, he still went for it.
Taking It From 0-100
Leave it up to guys to take things from 0-100 really quickly. Snapchat is the home to creepy attempts at wooing girls.
It’s the social media platform that normalized sending unsolicited nude pictures of yourself. Any picture can be turned dirty, just ask this guy who went out on a limb on the tree of hope.
My Kind Of Pick Up Line
We’re going to throw this example in under the “this is what you should do” category. I just want to remind all of the readers that some guys do in fact know how to talk to women without coming on too strong.
Rule number one, ALWAYS start a conversation off with food.
This Isn’t An Auction, Dude
Sometimes wanting to go on a date with someone clouds your mind and you are willing to say anything to get with them.
This guy was putting his wallet where his mouth is. Not only paying for the food, but literally paying her to hang out with him. That’s mildly creepy.
A Template Of A Millennial Conversation
Texting and the internet have killed dating. No longer do we have to interact in person. We can just message each other for hours a day and never truly get to know someone.
Every flirty conversation follows one simple template. That template is perfectly laid out in this picture above.
Dig A Hole, And Hide In It
There are many embarrassing things you do on a regular basis that are easy to bounce back from. If you trip on a shoelace in public, yeah, that’s crappy, but it’s not devastating.
Accidentally mass texting the 31 girls you want to get with is almost impossible to bounce back from.
TMI Dude, TMI
Some guys come on too strong, while other guys just don’t know how to talk to girls. If you’re just meeting someone, you need to be really careful about what you say.
He’s sharing way too much information about himself and it completely backfires. Note to self — never say you look like a goblin when you run.
“Welcome To The Family”
There are so many red flags happening here. First of all, WHY is your mom allowed on your Tinder account? Second of all, WHY is your mom allowed to message your Tinder matches?
Third of all, the whole grandkids talk ALREADY? Fourth of all, how do you immediately delete someone from your matches?
Never Lay Your Cards On The Table
One problem that many people find themselves in is that they pigeon hole themselves to a certain demographic.
For example, this guy ONLY dates models (and by the looks of him it makes sense), but that’s a very small segment of the population. If he expanded his interests he would have much better success.
When In Doubt, Look Internally
We’ve all been there. Well, no we haven’t, but just let me finish. We’ve all had trouble with the dating pool every once in a while. We feel down on ourselves and that there’s no one out there for us.
Some people then turn to their own family for prospects and, uh, I guess it worked for him?
That’s A Bold Move
This is a power move and one that should be rewarded. The word “brazen” doesn’t even begin to describe someone who steals their date’s car and then shows up in it to the second date.
Many of us are scared to show up to dates in general because we lack the confidence, This guy has a legit reason to be scared, yet he still battled.
Too Much Can Go Wrong
Picking the transportation method to get to your date is something that many people overlook. This guy decided to skateboard, which could be at the bottom of the list.
There’s just too much that can go wrong. Anyone who has skateboarded before knows that you have a 50% chance of breaking your arm every time you step on that thing. This dude learned that the hard way.
He Sells Sea Shells By The Sea Shore
If you’re new to the dating game, the phrase “it’s the thought that counts” just doesn’t exist. You need to make sure that any gift you give her is brilliant.
Giving her a jar of sea shells and pistachio shells will probably end up in the garbage very shortly. Do better next time.
Now You’re Awake
Remember when you used to actually HAVE to go to the movies when you were on a date? Now you can just Netflix and chill, which is cheaper and more comfortable.
The art of the arm stretch shoulder hug is dying. I guess the rate of broken noses in movie theaters will be decreasing too.
There Wasn’t A Second Date
I respect anyone who is willing to go to McDonald’s on a first date. It’s cheap, it’s good food, and it’s quick (in case the date is going horribly).
There are some pretty bad first date stories, but I think that throwing up fries onto your date is probably the worst one.
Dating Is The Most Savage Sport
If you’ve ever had a Tinder account (you can deny you haven’t but I know you’ve at least dabbled one night), you know the power of a super like.
When you know someone super liked you, it’s a new level of confidence you’ve never felt before. To have that confidence shattered in 13 words over two sentences like this guy did would be horrifying. But, dating is horrifying.
“I’m Not Like Those Guys”
Ladies, if you ever hear someone say “I’m not like those guys” then you know he’s exactly like those guys.
The cockiness some swamp creatures have around good looking girls is actually blasphemous and should be illegal. You can try to swerve them all you want, but they’ll find a way to get to you.
A Kiss Supreme
This just adds an element to the kiss. Now this girl actually had a reason to close her eyes while they were tongue punching because snot was flying at her face.
If this guy was somehow able to maneuver his way through that situation to get a second date, he needs a Netflix documentary or something.