It’s common knowledge that everyone changes once they get into a relationship. I mean, naturally you can’t go out five times a week with the guys when you’re in a committed relationship.
But, the biggest change comes when you move in together. That’s a completely different circus. Living under the same roof, you start to take after one another. Your habits change — some for the better, and some for the worse. This article shows some of the common changes in fellas when they move in with their girl. It’s haunting, scary, hilarious, and absolutely not true. So, when you’re reading this, don’t shoot the messenger.
Takes Some Getting Used To
If you’re new to living with a girl, just know that it brings you an insane amount of complications. I mean, it’s not like you can’t adjust, but it’ll take some time.
For example, keeping the toilet seat up. That’s something you do naturally without any thought. But, it needs to stop when you live with your girlfriend because she’ll fall in.
Learn How To Be An Instagram-Boyfriend
Let’s be honest, your job as a boyfriend isn’t to be a giver of love. It’s to take good pictures.
I would recommend taking classes of some sort. Go to photography school and learn lighting and angles. It’s the only way that your relationship will survive. Trust me. It’s mandatory.
This Is Normal
When you live with your girlfriend, texts like this become very normal. Before, in your honeymoon stage of the relationship, she would’ve never sent you this picture.
Now, she’s too comfortable and has no fear or worry about how you see her. You’re locked in. You have an apartment now. It’s game over.
This Is Objectifying
This guy’s wife only sees him for how he can enhance her pictures for social media. She has fully brainwashed him into thinking husbands are only good for being props in a photoshoot.
This picture is hard to look at. I hope there comes a time when he realizes how much he is being played.
Somebody Stop Him
He never used to be like this. He never used to be a stage-five clinger. But, as soon as he moved in with his girlfriend he became this monster.
This is what happens when you forget about your friends and just hang out with your girl. This is tragic.
Easy, Peazy, Lemon Squeazy
Packing lunch for the kids is something that we all need to get better at. Living with a wife or girlfriend adds pressure to the whole lunch-packing thing because their standards are high.
A lot of men will just grab some ham, cheese, and bread, and call it a day.
Where Do You Learn A Skill Like This?
First of all, the fact that this girl is willing to HOPE that her boyfriend can do a good mani/pedi is kind of ridiculous.
Now she’s going to have to pretend that she likes the way he painted her nails, when in reality, she hates it. She’ll end up going to get a real mani/pedi anyway.
She’s A Savage
You have to get used to the fact that when it comes to drunk food, she’s a savage. She will eat anything after two in the morning.
This is an example of that. She’ll eat butter from the stick like it’s whipped cream. She’ll squirt mayo in her mouth straight from the bottle.
Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked
Well, when you move into a house with your girlfriend you can safely say goodbye to a good night sleep. You’re going to be forced to sleep in a tiny portion of the bed (no matter what the size).
As you can see in this diagram, your sleep is the last priority.
She Will Change Your Eating Habits
I don’t know what to tell you. But, no one who is mentally stable would ever cut a brownie like this. This is someone who is crying out for help.
This guy never did this before. But, as soon as he moved in with his girlfriend he started doing weird things like this.
You Have To Be Deceptive
When you live alone, you don’t have to worry about hiding your favorite snacks because no one is going to steal them. But, when you move in with your girlfriend, you start to have to be deceptive.
This guy is taking his deception to the next level and I’m all for it.
The Pranks Are Gutless
Don’t think for a second that she won’t prank you when you live together. In fact, you being her guinea pig for pranks is probably her favorite thing about you living with her.
Can you imagine brushing your teeth with mayo? Excuse me while I throw up in my mouth. Be careful out there fellas.
Just In Case
You literally won’t be able to go anywhere without her. If you’re wanting any sort of independence away from your girlfriend, you’re not going to get it.
She’s always watching you. Your phone is her phone. Your money is her money. You skin is her skin. Are you scared yet?
You’re Expected To Put A Ring On It
The natural next step after moving in together is marriage. That’s scary. Perhaps the only thing more terrifying is having a baby.
But, the pressure to get married cranks up about ten times when you live under the same roof. She’ll start feeling VERY comfortable sending you passive-aggressive pictures like this.
Stage Five Clinger
This is the definition of a stage-five clinger. Studies show that once you move in together the chances of someone becoming a stage-five clinger is 95% higher than if you don’t live together.
I don’t know what study shows that but I’m just assuming there’s a study out there somewhere.
If you don’t think your girlfriend will be able to give you nightmares on a regular basis, you’re thoroughly mistaken my friend.
Just one look at this picture should be enough to scare you. Imagine going to have a shower before bed and seeing this? Oh heck no. I’m moving out immediately.
Can we just talk about this eyebrow epidemic happening right now? Girls don’t care about any other part of their body but their eyebrows it seems. As long as they’re “on fleek” they’re happy campers.
This boyfriend is starting to feel the effects of this obsession and it’s brilliant.
Too Much Carrie Underwood
It’s just simple science that predicts as soon as your girlfriend moves in with you that she starts listening to more Carrie Underwood.
The song “Before He Cheats” is an anthem for girls that gives them permission to do stuff like this to your car. Considering your car is VERY visible when it’s in the driveway, you’re going to be doomed.
This isn’t even a costume. This is just what he looks like after years of living with his girlfriend.
This is the sexiest he’s ever going to look and it’s disappointing to see. He once was a vibrant dude with goals and aspirations. Don’t let this be you. Just don’t.
Don’t Accept This
He never used to accept gifts like this. I would hope his next question after opening this was, “okay, so where’s the rest of the present?”
Having pictures of your significant other is important, but that shouldn’t be a gift for your birthday. He needs to stop accepting this mediocrity.