We’re going to do a quick pop quiz, okay? Put your hand up if you want to get married! Yeah, you keep those hands on that keyboard and mouse. No one wants to get married because it basically means that you’re never going to have fun again. That’s just facts.
But, there are some people out there who make it seem more tolerable because they’re genuinely great people. They don’t come around too often, so we felt like we should highlight them while we have the chance.
No, This Is LOVE
If you don’t think love exists, this picture will probably make your day. When you’re feeling very alone and you’re wondering if love is just a fantasy, you need to just think about this picture.
If you can find someone who is willing to leave the last piece of bacon for you, you’ve found your true love. These people don’t come around very often, and if they do, you need to snatch them up.
It’s really sad that growing older means you have to stop having fun. Yes, it’s as blatant as that. When you’re an adult, it’s not appropriate to do the things you once did as a kid. For example, you’re no longer allowed to make sweet forts with blankets and pillows.
It’s ridiculous that by the time we’re teenager, we should be all “forted” out. It’s so unrealistic and quite frankly, garbage.
He’s Not Afraid
When you’re a boyfriend or a husband and you get sent out to do some shopping, you should probably brace for impact. It’s not going to be video games and a knife.
This guy has tampons and cupcakes for his girl and he doesn’t even look phased. While most men would be sweating and thinking of their “they’re not mine” speech to the cashier, he’s casually just scrolling through Instagram like a boss.
Pew Pew Pew
Can you imagine coming home to this? There’s no day that this wouldn’t make feel 100% better. You could’ve been fired from your dream job, but if you came home to a surprise NERF gun fight, your day would be officially made.
You could’ve stepped outside, broken your ankle on a loose rock AND been fired from your dream job and this would AT LEAST make your day “pretty darn good.”
And That’s How The Game Is Played
If you’re wondering how to survive in a relationship or marriage, look no further than this text conversation. Being able to coexist with someone for a lifetime is nearly impossible unless you give small concessions to each other.
You might have to go to Chipotle when you don’t like (fake) Mexican food, and they might have to go scuba diving with bull sharks in the Pacific Ocean when you were supposed to have a “relaxed” vacation.
When Your Drunk Wife Makes Snacks Like These
Do you know how most people are out of commission when they get home drunk from a girls or boys night? Well, not this wife. She needs to be wifed up right away. Her first thought when she got home was to make these delicious snacks.
It’s safe to say the first thing 99.9% of other drunk people do is try to hold the puke in their mouth in time to get to the washroom.
Willing To Be Anything To Make Her Comfy
This is incredibly sad. You want to feel bad for the guy who thinks that his only option when on the subway is to get on all fours like a dog and let his girl sit on his back.
This relationship would be interesting to know more about. Like, at what point does she just bite the bullet and stand like a regular person? I feel like he’s VERY in love with her and they should probably tie the knot.
Snoring Is The Worst
Falling asleep alone doesn’t suck. It actually is way easier/better/more convenient. You don’t have to rely on the other person falling asleep and waking you up with their snoring or kicking you under the blanket.
If your girlfriend or boyfriend actually like your snoring, you need to marry them ASAP. Like, not in a few minutes. You need to get off the computer and propose because that’s bananas. She or he is one in a billion, literally.
You Need Someone Who Can Pull Pranks
If you’re going to be married for a lifetime, you have to be able to spice it up (and not just in the bedroom). You need to be with someone who isn’t going to bore you. Every day with them is going to be different.
If he has a great sense of humor and can pull off pranks like these, you know he’s a keeper. Just on a quick side note, this would be so incredibly confusing to observe as the boyfriend.
If He Can Work His Way Around A Hair Straightener…
Every girl should be aware by now that most guys shouldn’t be trusted in a lot of ways, but mostly not in the bathroom. You should never trust your boyfriend to do your makeup unless you want to look like Krusty the Clown, and you shouldn’t be letting them near your hair straightener.
First of all, it’s a safety hazard. He’s probably going to sear his finger off before he even gets to your hair. But, if he’s like this dude and knows what to do, hubby him up.
Come Year 32, That’s Important
What you have to remember is that your love for each other in year 32 probably isn’t going to be the same as when you first get married. That’s just, uh, the biology of love or something.
The main factor to a successful relationship is that you can tolerate each other. That’s all you need. After a few decades into a marriage, being able to tolerate each other is probably the key to success.
All Of That, AND MORE
This is what dreams and fantasies are made of. An accidental text that didn’t end in a break up. Not only that, it strengthened their relationship and it’s beautiful to see. This never happens.
Usually, someone is texting their mistress and accidentally messages the wrong person and all hell breaks loose. Maybe I’m just cynical and that doesn’t happen all that much. Nonetheless, this dude is gearing up for those nuptials.
That Means A Lot
It’s pretty hard to really determine how much someone loves you. Like, you can love something without actually loving that thing, right? When you’re in a relationship, it’s tough to gauge just how high you are on their love-meter.
But, when someone makes it as clear as this person did in this picture, you might as well start planning the honeymoon. A burger WITH bacon? That’s an absolute home run, no questions asked.
She’s Not Afraid To Ruffle Some Feathers
At the end of the day, you need to have fun in your relationship. I hate to be the bringer of bad news, but if your girlfriend or boyfriend feels embarrassed about dressing up as a banana on a random Tuesday in July, they’re probably not marriage material.
This girl is an attorney and still doesn’t feel shame. My guess is that this picture has her phone ringing off the hook, as it should.
She Needs To Be Creative
If your boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t creative in SOME way, you need to get rid of them immediately. For example, if they’re serving you some crackers and cheese and DON’T organize the food into the shape of a happy face on the plate — GOODBYE.
Or, if she’s pregnant and doesn’t use her belly to her utmost advantage at all times — GOODBYE. Creativity (and comfort) is what drives excellence.
When You’re In Sleep Mode
If you can find someone who is willing to go out of their way to help you make your mornings less painful, marry them. If you’re not a morning person (like I would assume 99.9% of people except for Oprah to be), you’re probably in zombie/sleep mode for the entire morning.
You want to be able to go onto cruise control without having to think too much about what you’re going to eat, or what you’re going to wear.
This Is The Important Question
Okay, this is one of the most important pages of this article. You NEED to find someone who doesn’t just want “any” kid — they want a superstar. They don’t want a 5/10, they NEED at least a seven.
Who cares about the gender, all you should be worried about is how that baby is going to look. Too many couples are just happy to have a mediocre child, and that shouldn’t be good enough.
Cakes Are SO Yesterday
Can we just talk about how awful cakes are? That might be an unpopular opinion, but they aren’t good. I guess if you’re an alien and you like cakes, good for you, but most of us don’t so can we make burgers a birthday tradition?
If your significant other is willing to break the norms just to ensure that you enjoy your “cake,” that should go a long way in your decision to marry that person.
Her Heart Is Too Big
You want to marry someone who has a big heart. So, getting a text like this should solidify that she has one so big that it’s blocking the blood flow to her brain or something. Clearly, this isn’t a dog, but it’s cute nonetheless.
The fact that she was willing to go the extra mile for this, uh, dog, tells you that you have a pure companion. Those are hard to find so the ring should be coming very shortly.
It’s The Little Things
When you’re having a bad day, you end up relying on your significant other to pull you back to reality or boost your confidence. It doesn’t have to be a big gesture, it can be as simple and a quick, uh, B&B as mentioned here.
Most guys will tell you that the B&B combination is basically a cure-all medicine. This note probably went a long way. She is certainly marriage material.