No one said that going to college was going to be easy. It’s a newfound freedom away from your family that can either cut the last set of training wheels into adulthood, or you, uh, fail miserably.
Some students can swim laps in the deep end while others can barely keep their head above water. This article highlights the students who, at this rate, aren’t going to be seeing that cap and gown when they reach the end of the tunnel.
“I Love My New Roommate”
If you’ve ever been to college, you know that the newfound freedom away from your parents can be inviting.
It’s easy to end up having one or two extra adult sodas. This girl fell victim and is now paying the price. Thankfully, her new roommate is taking one for the team and it’s incredible.
On The Right, Uh, Wave Length
You know what? This person should see the bright side of this. They were at least able to get one number right.
We should be learning how to file our taxes and other financial literacy. For 99% of us who don’t want to be math teachers, we’ll never need to figure out the slope of a line outside of the classroom.
Whatever Gets You Through
Some people need to bring a coffee to class in order to stay awake, while others have different ideas.
When you’re in college, “happy hour” isn’t just restricted to five o’clock. It’s literally whenever and wherever you want it to be. Let’s face it, many college students are borderline alcoholics.
This Is A Blessing In Disguise
Look man, this is life changing. You know how many students are throwing themselves at barely moving cars in order to sue the driver? LOTS.
You just had a lecture hall ceiling fall onto your desk. You should be thanking your lucky stars that this happened. You’re going to be driving a Rolls Royce by next week.
“Can I See The Mark?”
Making sure that your parents think you’re going well when you’re really not is a very useful skill.
College marks hit you like a ton of bricks. No longer do you get A’s when you don’t study. In college, you’re lucky to be getting C’s. But, as the saying goes “C’s get degrees”.
Don’t Get Me Started With The Textbooks
If you’re a student right now then you understand the struggle with having to pay $7000 dollars for a single textbook.
These things are more expensive than cars and most of us probably open the book about three times all semester. That’s like $4000 for every time we flip a page.
Sleep Patterns Take A Beating
When you go out three times a week and only have to wake up for class (sometimes) at 3pm, your days are pretty screwed up.
Oversleeping for plans that were supposed to happen at 1pm isn’t out of the ordinary when you were out until 6am stealing construction pylons and street signs.
You know those people who have a planner, and write everything in it? Yeah, we hate those people. Why? Because they’re actually organized and it makes us look bad.
If you’re not starting an essay the day before it’s due, you’re not doing college right. There’s nothing quite like that feeling of fear, stress, and anxiety all piled into an evening of writing about World War Two.
Read The Fine Print
When you’re close to the end, on all fours, trying to claw your way to the finish line, it seems impossible.
All of the assignments and readings you said “I’ll do that later” to are coming back to bite you in the butt. You literally feel like the world is crumbling around you because of the stress.
Dorm Rooms Are Something To Behold
Living in a dorm is an interesting experience. If you’re lucky, you don’t have a totally insane roommate and you’re bed doesn’t fall apart.
Unfortunately, most people aren’t that lucky. Their roommate is a satanist and their bed is built as solid as a house of white bread. This picture proves that perfectly.
Can You Leave Me Alone?
There’s about seventeen awful places I would rather be than in a university bookstore searching for textbooks.
Yes, I would much rather be begging for my academic standing after getting caught plagiarizing an essay. Yes, I would rather be stuck in traffic with my incredibly annoying mother-in-law. Yes, I would rather be getting a swirly from the high school bully looking for my lunch money.
It’s All About Adaptation
Like I mentioned before, you’re probably going to be opening those textbooks a total of three times all semester. So, instead of wasting the books made out of pure gold, use them for something else.
Being adaptable in college is incredibly important for survival. I’ve also seen textbooks been used as weapons as well, which is solid.
Well, That Works, I Guess?
I don’t know what it is about cutlery, but they’re insanely good hiders. Have you ever been able to keep a fork with you for more than one week?
My guess is probably not. When you’re in college, forks and spoons are a rare commodity. If you get to eat with one you’re thanking your lucky stars.
Livin’ La Vida Loca
This seems about right. When it’s finals week and waking up everyday is a struggle knowing you’re going to have to put another 14 hour shift in at the library, crying is the base emotion.
I’m happy to see that this person is at least going to be turning up on Friday and Saturday to set the tone for the Hail Mary of cries on Sunday.
Naps Solve Everything
Students feel that naps solve everything. If they get into a fight with their significant other, nap. If they just failed an exam, nap.
If you know you have to study but don’t want to, nap. Unfortunately, naps only prolong the inevitable stress that you’re going to feel when you wake up. With that being said, I’m a huge fan of the nap.
I Just, Uh, Sit Near The, Uh, Back
The one thing about university and college that is a huge culture shock to new students is the fact that you never really talk to your prof.
If your prof even knows what you look like, you’re probably the person who sits in the front row and raises their hand for every question that’s not even a question.
“I’m Literally Getting Straight A’s, Mom”
Look, this is a brilliant strategy. If you’ve been pinned up against the wall and are forced to show your mom your marks — this is the only way to go about it.
Life is about the technicalities. So, TECHNICALLY, you did what she asked and it’s not your fault that she can’t read it.
With the insane amount of student debt that everyone is getting in, they’re going to have to wait quite a long time to even buy a 1998 Honda Civic, nevermind a Bentley.
Being able to afford a university t-shirt is a great accomplishment considering everything on campus is 10 times the price it should be.
She’s Already A Winner
I think that it’s safe to say that this girl is already in the one percent. The fact that she didn’t fully put fun over her studies shows that she’s super-human.
Studies show that 99% of the student population would stop studying for a final exam if they were asked to go get drunk at a bowling alley. It goes up to 99.9% when you’re talking about a football game. Those are fake studies but you believed it.
This Fiscal Responsibility Is Impressive
Most of us students have $4 left in the bank and we still find a way to go out three times during the week.
Although red solo cups basically run a college kid’s life, it’s just not economical. You should be proud of the little things you accomplish and this is certainly that.